Ever feel lost? Like you’re stuck in mud and your tires are just not gaining traction. Goodness, we all know what that feels like and if you say you don’t, you’re either lying or you’re extremely privileged.
I want to go back in time a bit. The year was 2003. I was 17. I had just given birth to my first daughter, I was scared and alone. I was married and living in a small trailer in Long Island, NY. My husband at the time was working two jobs and I had no friends or family around me. I felt stuck. Now I have this newborn who needs constant care and no support system.
Time seemed to be at a stand still back in those days. I had no job, no career goals, no money. I had no purpose. In retrospect, I wasn’t in love with this life. I didn’t really want to be married and domesticated at 17. I made the choice because I had to escape a very negative situation and that was the only way I knew.
As time passed and life just happened to me, I was more and more unhappy. I had this beautiful baby who saved me from a lot of bad things that I felt I was failing on a daily basis. Point blank, life sucked.
So, what changed? Fast forward over 10 years – yes, TEN years. I did not get this for a decade!!! I decided enough was enough. I now had three children, I was divorced, and I was collecting foodstamps and HEAP. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anything is wrong with that if you need it but that wasn’t the life I wanted.
What changed was my mindset. I decided I was not going to continue to let life happen to me. I was going to do something about it to build the life that everyone told me I couldn’t have. Born from poverty and squalor, everyone makes assumptions that you are going to be that way forever – that you can’t break the cycle. I was determined to prove that wrong.
I was in a dead end job for a temp agency that was just barely paying the bills. I saw a job posting for a local nonprofit hiring for a Projects Coordinator. I thought, what the hell? I probably won’t get this job but I’ll try anyway because I need something permanent. I went into that interview with confidence that I didn’t really have. I was honest and explained that I just needed a shot. That’s all I need. I’m smart, I’m determined, and I’m raw as hell.
They gave me a shot – and that was six years ago. While I have been there, I built up the skills to become a stellar social media manager, projects coordinator, digital marketer, and relationship builder. I have taken the steps for myself to be an expert in whatever I do. I work hard, learn hard, and give hard.
But I still felt a bit stuck. I had grand dreams of owning my own business and giving back to the community in a way I was good at. I am good at digital marketing so that’s what I really wanted to do. However, there was a wall. It was fear. Fear was stopping me. It was like by body had built up this proverbial wall to stop me from having any negative feelings, including the potential for rejection and failure. I did actually start a business, but to be honest, I was only going at it half-ass. I wasn’t doing myself or my business any justice.
Now, I want to talk about today. Well, just a few months ago leading into today. Through an amazing client, I met an amazing coach. I made the investment and my life took off! My coach, Jon Martin of High Performance Health, got me thinking about my life in ways that I never thought possible. Somehow, he was able to really guide me into the best parts of me. We dug deep together into clarity and broke through all the chaos. We changed the inner narrative.
I now run my own business – which is much different than just owning it. I still work for the nonprofit but I have so much more confidence in what I am doing. I know I am good at it. I know I am a rock star. I know…. I am worthy of all good things.
While I am not a “boss” of anyone in particular yet, I turned into the boss of my life. Which, to me, is so much more profound. When we finally see our worth, our entire motivation in life changes. I know this probably sounds sappy to some, which is fine. It’s not meant for everyone. It’s meant for those who need to know that where you are right now is just fine. You’re doing your best. But when you’re ready – there is something amazing out there for you. Take that leap. Take the step. You’ll thank yourself for it.
Tell me your story in the comments. Have you turned into a rock star against all odds? I want to hear about it.